Yeah, I’m going to have to say you’re still just not getting it.
The point is not to play the safety blame-game. You’re looking at a single, hypothetical situation. My original disgust was at a man who would blame his daughter for getting raped in any situation. You’re blaming the victim for the crime that was forced upon them. Don’t you see that’s a little fucked up?
You still haven’t even once said anything about why men shouldn’t rape. You’ve never acknowledged that men shouldn’t rape, or that maybe women should be allowed to be falling down drunk in public and not have their bodies violated by men. That is what I’m saying. Anyone, women too, should be allowed to be naked in a park and passed out, and they still do not deserve to get raped. Men do not have that right to peoples’ bodies, end of story.
You say you would maybe press charges against the man who rapes your daughter, but then you’d for sure ground her until she’s 40, punishing her for something that she did not ask for. Oh, but then you say, why didn’t she protect herself better, or not make those choices to be alone and get drunk? Well, that implication is that somewhere in your brain you’re thinking - A woman goes alone, gets drunk, gets raped, it’s her fault because she was asking for it. No. A woman is not asking to be raped no matter what situation she puts herself in.
Perhaps you should be examining why you’re so quick to defend victim blaming when it comes to rape. No one ever seems to really blame rapists for rape, we’ve only just started to lean away from media and advertising that tells women ‘Hey, you should work harder at not getting raped’, and even still it’s not very much as of yet.
You know what? Rape has always been around. When women were wearing full dresses that covered them from neck to toe, they still got raped. When women were all ultra-pure and wearing Quaker Frocks, they were still getting raped. When women do everything they can to be safe, they still get raped. I’m really tired of people acting like we’re just not working hard enough to be safe, because the fact of the matter is, maybe fewer men should be rapists, and maybe if men stopped defending rapists by blaming women, we’d have less of a rape-accepting culture.
Your simple argument of trying to pin some of the blame on the victim in a situation that she didn’t want is clear evidence of a very strong rape culture. Just… Sit and think about it for a minute. If you went to a party and got totally shit faced and wasted, and blacked out, and found out that a guy had stripped you naked in a back room and fucked you against your will, and then your parents blamed you for it and said “Well son, you really should have been more careful. You should have had a friend, and you definitely shouldn’t have been drinking that much. We might press charges, but you’re definitely grounded. Be more careful next time, really, you were asking for it.” How do you think you would feel?
Now instead of it just being your parents, imagine it’s -everyone-. All of society thinks that it’s your fault, all the time, for something that someone else did to you. Does that even make sense, still? Does it compute? Because it’s baffling to me how anyone could think that. It really, sincerely is. And do try and really imagine the scenario, how it would make you feel, if you’re sincere in your quest for understanding this situation.
All of this. Thank you.